SHADOWS OF THE SACRED
by Sensei Robert Joshin Althouse (c) 2007

"It takes so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying."
Morris L. West

These words by Morris West are a commentary on the Jewish Kaddish, which was one of the services we practiced at Bearing Witness Retreats in Auschwitz, Poland. We also incorporated it into our Zen services at the Zen Center of Hawaii.

Auschwitz embodied the collective shadow of our world. Although it was a difficult place to visit, it held both a demonic and a sacred dimension for me. Perhaps it was sacred because of the way we practiced together, remembering and facing the horrors that happened there.

On the spiritual path, working and practicing with shadow energies is a necessity. We all have both collective and individual shadow elements. I've lived in some spiritual communities that were partly dysfunctional because the collective shadows­ of anger and power that were not acknowledged.

When we are uncomfortable with some aspect of our life, we push it away. If we continue to do this over time, it becomes a strong habit and we may eventually be in such denial that we are unconscious of the energy altogether. Shadows that are un-acknowledged become larger and can seem like scary monsters in the closet. Even though we deny their existence they stick around and emerge later in ways that are usually inappropriate and destructive.

Buddhists are often ambivalent about anger and power. We must be cautious with anger because its fires can burn out of control, and power can be abused. We practice the precept of not indulging in anger, but anger is an important aspect of a sane, awakened life, and we need to learn how to practice with it skillfully and openly. Every emotion, regardless of how negatively we perceive it, contains a seed of intelligence and wisdom.

Anger is often a combination of sadness and judgment. Something has been done to us, some transgression of a boundary we feel shouldn't have happened. We practice the precept of not lying or speaking the truth when we are clear about the importance of establishing and maintaining clear boundaries. When we don't speak the truth in such situations, the consequences are repression, reduced vitality, fear and diminished self worth.

Boundaries include agreements and contracts, and are often temporal or spacial in nature. I find that many people are unconscious about the importance of boundaries. Being clear about boundaries helps maintain and restore broken trust and strengthen relationships. When we keep our word and honor our commitments we are honoring and maintaining boundaries in our relationships. Holding ourselves and others around us acountable for observing and maintaining boundaries helps us function better together, in relationships, families, organizations and communities.

When we practice with anger, we learn how to touch this experience without righteousness or blame. Like any other emotional energy, when we do not reify it through solidifying the story that goes with it in our mind, the energy itself becomes a wisdom. In the case of anger, this energy can cut for the sake of wisdom. In this way anger is no longer dualistic. So we might actually appreciate anger as a message that something in our lives is not in balance and needs to be restored.

Shadows and light live simultaneously. The light source upon which all shadows depend is our true nature, which is always timeless, unborn, and boundless. As Leonard Cohen wrote, "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in."

We can become too concerned with purity and perfection. It is all right to be a human being walking on the earth. We really don't need to apologize for this. We can acknowledge the foibles of human nature as part of our spiritual path, and in doing so, we might come to terms with our imperfections with more grace and humility.

In the "Identity of Relative and Absolute" it tells us that light and darkness are a pair, like the foot before and the foot behind. They need one another. And it goes on to tell us how to practice with both. "Within light there is darkness, but do try to understand that darkness; Within darkness there is light, but do not look for that light."

It's surprising to discover that shadows can be an enriching part of our spiritual path. As we continue to open and to trust our own sanity and wakefulness amidst the darkness and difficulties, the heaviness grows lighter, humor dawns with a new day, and compassion takes up residence where once our house was dark and crowded.

The shadows are not so opaque as we imagined but instead have a deep transparency, as in the shadows of a Rembrandt painting. They are an enriching and necessary part of the Way. They are shadows of the sacred.