SITTING IN THE EYE OF THE STORM
by Sensei Robert Joshin Althouse (c) 2007

You've probably watched hurricanes on the weather channel or seen photos taken of them from satellites. It's a compelling and beautiful shape. You can see the storm, and in the center you can often see the eye. The stronger the storm, the more well developed the eye. Our busy lives are much like hurricanes. Events can descend upon us bringing chaos and disruption to our normal routines. Such times can try our patience and equanimity.

To practice zen is to know how to sit in the eye of the storm. You have to be mindful because you can easily be swept back into the storm. In fact, it takes energy to get into the eye of the storm, and it takes some energy to remain there. This is the nature of practice itself.

We must learn to contain our energy to practice in this way. When you sit zazen, you contain your energy by holding a fixed position with your body, without moving, and holding your hands in the mudra with your thumbs lightly touching. When you do kinhin (walking meditation) you also contain your energy by holding your hands in a mudra (right hand over closed left fist) close to your heart and you keep your eye lowered without looking around.

Sesshin retreat is the same kind of practice, but more intensified. The sesshin is held in silence, and we are careful not to make eye contact with others and to not look around. If we do, the energy of our practice begins to leak and it's not so effective.

Containing your energy is easily confused with controlling it. You may expect yourself to become perfect or to not make any mistakes as a result of your practice. But this kind of practice can tire you out because you are moving against the wind. You are trying to free yourself from the storm, which is always part of your life. When you do this, you create an imaginary audience that is judging you, and you become self-conscious and hesitant.

When you sit in the eye of the storm, you are still in the storm. You are not separate from it. There must be a storm, for there to be a calm center of practice. You can't have nirvana without samsara. Appreciating this, you do not create any separation between yourself and the world. You are able to function very freely and skillfully in the storm of your life because you know how to sit in the eye of it.

When you exert yourself in this way through practice, you notice something interesting. There are moments that are effortless. As your samadhi grows and strengthens, you experience an effortless ease. You are comfortable within your own skin. You appreciate the importance of sitting zazen regularly. Sitting in the eye of the storm, you are never afraid of the storm, because you are part of it, but you are deep within it, quiet and still.